I have a felt a bit blah about my photography as of late and it really hit me when I was talking to my girls about what I should do this year. I planned a business meeting and I wasn’t really looking forward to it, I didn’t know where to start or what I even wanted to talk about. When I originally planned the meeting, I had an agenda and I was excited about it but driving home that night, I was literally blah and I couldn’t put my finger on it; so, when I started talking to the girls about it, it quickly went to, I should take some time off and refocus; that was exactly what I needed to hear, I felt liberated. My eldest daughter mentioned that when I first started taking photographs they were different than my most recent, I agreed. I guess I got caught up in making it a business and not what I love to do, which obviously didn’t transcend in the my latest photos and that was very disappointing. We agreed that I need to go back to the basics and fill in my gaps, starting with lighting and no paid jobs for now; just learning and finding my voice through my photos. I want to figure out my photography aesthetic; what do I do best? I know I love photographing people, I love expressions, journalistic photos, and family dynamics. I want to discover who I am as an artist, so that I can be confident in that and in turn that will allow me to make beautiful photos that will last a lifetime for customers.
I know what it was, I just wanted to jump all in, as I do often with things, and skipped the grunt work but I realize now, that like in so many things in life, you cannot do that, you have to start at the bottom, you have to work hard, pay your dues, and in time it will pan out. Don’t skip any steps in the recipe, as a wise-man told me lately. So, that’s what I am going to do, I’m going to start from the beginning and take my time, by God’s grace, I will be back someday 8′)